Rock 'n' Wrestling: "I think this is FAKE!"

Short version: Professional wrestling was a legitimate contest from its 19^th century origins until roughly a hundred years ago. Nobody is sure when exactly it happened. Wrestlers and promoters alike agreed that more of an athletic exhibition with predetermined outcomes was a better idea than a ‘shoot’ that could last up to four ponderous hours. Everyone would benefit from the change. Wrestlers agreed to cooperate in the ring in the interest of making

Toots Mondt.

more money. Promoters raked in the bucks at the box office and on the sly from local gamblers who were none the wiser. Audiences enjoyed the more action-oriented approach pioneered by then-wrestler and future promoter Toots Mondt, who created a style incorporating traditional Greco-Roman and freestyle wrestling with various brawling techniques. Mondt’s “slam-bang Western-style wrestling” innovations would change everything, as it is what every wrestler we have loved and/or hated ever since has practiced in the ring.

Things were great until 1934 when one Jack Pfefer found himself on the wrong side of a business dispute between himself and his fellow wrestling promoters—a group that included Toots Mondt. Pfefer would get even by spilling the beans in an interview with the New York Daily Mirror. Fans had wondered about pro wrestling for a long time and now one of the top

Jack Pfefer: the ruiner.

matchmakers had confirmed that it was not a legitimate sporting contest at all! Wrestling’s popularity would then decline throughout the Great Depression, but the True Sport of Kings came back in the post-World War II era with the advent of television. Gorgeous George, Verne Gagne, and Buddy Rogers became some of the first TV celebrities in the 1950s as the industry itself gained a new lease on life. Televised wrestling would then settle comfortably into the realm of trashy American pulp entertainment that you all should know and love.

Sometimes some loudmouth know-it-all would bring up the fact that wrestling wasn’t “real,” but there was nothing phony about consistent television ratings and live attendance throughout much of the country. Plenty of fans simply enjoyed the entertainment and were unconcerned with how the illusion maintained itself. However, MANY fans still believed that the rivalries were the real deal; just ask the numerous

wrestlers attacked by rabid fans in arenas and parking lots throughout the years! Wrestlers were also encouraged by promoters to sustain believability in public, which could be problematic when confronted by outsiders questioning the integrity of their profession. I’ve read some cringe-worthy tales of life-altering injuries inflicted to keep kayfabe alive. Teeth were lost, bones were broken, and eyes were gouged out in many a bar or nightclub when drunken idiots picked REAL fights with FAKE ‘rasslers’! This was accepted behavior in the business for a long time—in many cases, losing the fight would also cost a wrestler his job. Similar things also happened to would-be grapplers and local tough guys looking to be on TV by getting in the ring. They usually quit after one training session with a seasoned pro who knew how to inflict serious damage and leave them with soiled trunks and a variety of injuries.

 Bob Roop dishes out a wrestling lesson to Florida Man.

Let’s flash forward to 1985 when American popular culture was embracing professional wrestling more than it had in a very long time. Cable television allowed regional promotions from Georgia and San Antonio to be viewed across our great nation while the WWF brought wrestling back to network TV after decades in syndication. Mainstream media outlets began paying more attention with a series of reports on pro wrestling’s increased popularity and its effects. Every single one of them made a point of mentioning that wrestling was not “real,” but “fake.” Not one ever bothered noting that this was no different from Saturday Night Live, The Cosby Show, or Miami Vice—after all, that would be building wrestling up rather than tearing it down like they wanted. However, one report tops the rest and I’m sure a lot of you know where this is going already.

 

My name is John Stossel and I HATE FUN.

20/20 investigative journalist John Stossel decided to take on the wrestling industry with a segment where he would expose the Real Truth to everyone—that professional wrestling was not a legitimate sport. Never mind that this had been public knowledge for fifty years. Stossel could have exposed the truth on 20/20 about promoters’ various business tactics that violated labor and antitrust laws, but that wasn’t as much fun as his crusade to simply make people feel stupid for watching wrestling. Wrestling was something that brought friends and families together—it was fun to watch and Stossel was going overboard. He was as condescending as can be in his report, speaking of his limited college wrestling credentials and referring to “rassling” in a white-trash accent. Stossel hammered home the word “fake,” making his point until it was taken and smashed into smithereens. He even had his own Jack Pfefer in Eddie Mansfield, a disgruntled grappler who hadn’t made it big in the

Eddie Mansfield blading for the camera.

regional territories. Not only was Mansfield willing to lead Stossel through the basic motions of a wrestling match on camera, but he also demonstrated the blading technique used to draw blood for effect!

Stossel took things to the next level by questioning individual wrestlers on camera about the legitimacy of their occupation, as if they would simply answer to his satisfaction. He even asked the Iron Sheik, who angrily challenged him to enter the ring and find out for himself. Stossel probably only saw him as a cartoonish fraud, but would not have lasted long against the Shah of Iran’s former bodyguard and onetime Olympian. He would then attempt a verbal joust against “Dr. D” David Schultz, a

Dr. D was Stone Cold before Steve Austin opened
his first can of Whoop-Ass.

nasty redneck heel from Tennessee who was essentially “Stone Cold” over a decade before Steve Austin opened his first can of Whoop-Ass™. Schultz was a product of the wrestling industry before its mainstream resurgence. His ornery onscreen persona was an amplified extension of his personality and publicly maintained at all times. Dr. D was simply doing his part by giving this scrawny reporter a hard time in describing professional wrestling as a business where only the toughest of the tough survive when Stossel decided to ask what he called “the standard question.” Actually, Stossel didn’t ask it at all. He made the standard statement: “I think this is FAKE!”

POW! Schultz slapped the ever-loving SHIT out of Stossel without any hesitation, knocking him to the floor! “That’s an open-hand slap!” said the good Doctor with an expert diagnosis.

“Did that feel ‘fake’?” Stossel slowly rose back to his feet in disbelief, only to be slapped right back down a second time before Dr. D ran him off under a hail of further verbal abuse. 20/20 anchor Barbara Walters was horrified at what Schultz had done to Stossel, who complained of lingering pain and buzzing in his ears weeks after it happened. Stossel would later sue the WWF for damages, settling out of court for $425,000. Schultz found himself in hot water with the New York State Athletic Commission, who suspended his license until he expressed his regret in an apology letter. However, Dr. D would soon be out of a job after a backstage altercation involving Mr. T. He would retire from wrestling after brief stints in

Dr. D: Bounty Hunter.

Memphis, Calgary, and Japan to become a bail bondsman and a professional bounty hunter working with the FBI, the DEA, and various police departments around the world. John Stossel would eventually express his own regret over the lawsuit, citing it as a frivolous example of America’s litigious society.

Dave Schultz may have gone too far, but people forget (or don’t know) that there are plenty of similar stories that make his reaction to Stossel look merciful in comparison!

Vince McMahon’s 1989 testimony before the New Jersey senate confirmed wrestling’s open secret, leading to increased exposure throughout the ‘90s. Insider newsletters like the Wrestling Observer went from being strictly underground publications to the leaders of wrestling journalism as more fans gained internet access. Wrestling evolved once again as people became completely aware that they were watching athletic entertainment designed to evoke desired responses. Fans extend more respect to the sacrifices involved in the physical theater. Interviews and podcasts discussing on-the-road stories and locker room politics are the norm now. Everybody knows what’s going on and no one seems to mind except for the occasional “ultimate fighting” fan blissfully unaware of modern MMA’s roots and inspiration. Although pro wrestling kayfabe is dead and buried, that might actually be a good thing because let’s be real—who in any occupation appreciates being called a phony…and who wants to lose an eye?

Rob Van Dam

Happy 50th birthday to Rob Van Dam! RVD can hold the ECW world television championship in a mocking fashion all he wants because he is Mister Pay-Per-View and the whole fucking show!

Movie Review: Tootsie (1982)

DIRECTOR: Sydney Pollack. CAST: Dustin Hoffman, Jessica Lange, Teri Garr, Dabney Coleman, Charles Durning, Bill Murray, Sydney Pollack, George Gaynes, Geena Davis, Doris Belack, Ellen Foley, Ronald L. Schwary, Lynne Thigpen.
Tootsie might be the best gender comedy of all time; it is certainly one of the finest funny movies of its decade. Dustin Hoffman is Michael Dorsey, an unemployed actor with a difficult reputation around town. Desperate for work, Michael impersonates a woman to get a role on a popular daytime soap opera. His character is a hit, but it also takes a toll on his personal life as he falls for one of his female co-stars while also resisting the advances of her father and another male cast member. Tootsie keeps its humor intelligent without going the obvious homo/transphobic route like it probably would in someone else’s hands. Not one performance goes wasted here; everyone shines in what is a true gem of a movie. They don’t make ‘em like this anymore and they should. Watch Tootsie immediately; you will see why it was a huge box office draw in its day.

Movie Review: 1941 (1979)

DIRECTOR: Steven Spielberg. CAST: Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, Ned Beatty, Lorraine Gary, Murray Hamilton, Christopher Lee, Tim Matheson, Toshiro Mifune, Warren Oates, Robert Stack, Treat Williams, Nancy Allen, Bobby DiCicco, Dianne Kay, Perry Lang, Slim Pickens, Wendie Jo Sperber, Eddie Deezen, Joe Flaherty, John Candy, Frank McRae, Susan Backlinie. 
1941 is a glorious disaster of a film; it is not a ‘good movie’ as much as it is an amazing spectacle. Personally, I cannot hate a movie simultaneously recognizing the diverse talents of Toshiro Mifune and Eddie Deezen. You certainly will not find such an ensemble cast anywhere else! 1941 is an attempt at a World War II-era comedy through the anarchic lens of Saturday Night Live or Animal House. American tension is high after the attack on Pearl Harbor just a couple days before. Wild rumors abound and everyone is on alert. Servicemen and zoot suiters are rioting in the streets and a lone Japanese submarine is lost in the Pacific Ocean while trying to find and attack Los Angeles. 1941 introduces several movies’ worth of characters and stories at once; so much is going on that most viewers would likely get lost in the chaos. Fans that can make sense of this mess will enjoy the 146-minute director’s cut that fleshes out some of the more principal characters. Although 1941 is not laugh-out-loud funny most of the time, it captures the period in which it takes place with good unpretentious fun.

Darkest Heavy: Remembering Z.O.E.

Osaka’s Z.O.E. boasted members of some of Japan’s best crustcore bands, but reveled in blatant unoriginality in mining the AMEBIX field for everything it could possibly be worth. They formed as a bedroom band by ex-GLOOM guitarist Taki in 1997, acquiring the drumming services of Takayama from FRAMTID four years later. Z.O.E. issued The Beginning as a CD-R demo in 2002, attracting attention from fans of Japan’s “crasher crust” scene for its painstaking attention to detail—these four songs sound dead on like AMEBIX outtakes if not for Taki’s howling vocals. “Be Celled & Be Chain of Master” steals the riff from “Drink & Be Merry” outright while the other songs are only somewhat less offensive in their thievery. Z.O.E. followed up with the instrumental “Spere Alive” on The Darkest 4, a compilation tape also featuring fellow Japanese crustys EFFIGY, ACROSTIX, and the amusingly named DISTURD.

Crust War originally intended to release 2003’s From Hell EP as a split with the like-

minded EFFIGY. Both bands even recorded title tracks for the concept, with Z.O.E. writing “From Hell (Ice Devil)” as a companion piece to EFFIGY’s “From Hell (Summer Devil).” Crust War simply released both as separate records instead. From Hell is the band’s best example of their “darkest heavy” sound; the long title track builds to a particularly nice crusty crescendo. “Destroyer” gets more to the point while “Spider” fades out after about a minute as something of a teaser track.

The Last Axe Beat re-records all four tracks from The Beginning and adds two new songs plus “Spider” in full. Z.O.E. relentlessly references AMEBIX and ZYGOTE throughout; it is almost more than one can handle by the album’s end.

Although the songs are appropriately loud and heavy, The Last Axe Beat misses the dynamics that Z.O.E.’s favorite band established with both their songwriting and presentation. Z.O.E. would then cover “The Power Remains” and “Winter” on MCR Company’s Amebix Japan: A Tribute to Amebix compilation (a dream come true, I’m sure) and also re-recorded “New World” and “Zygospore” for the Konton Damaging Ear Massacre compilation released by Crust War in 2005.

How did Z.O.E. manage to get away with such a flagrantly imitative approach? I do not know myself; I am still trying to figure it out over fifteen years later as I still enjoy these recordings on some level.

SEE ALSO: Defector, Ferocious X, Framtid, Gloom, War Cry.

Rick Rude

I vaguely remember this from the early ‘90s! Can you imagine getting a literal Rude Awakening from Ravishing Rick Rude? I think I might have enjoyed having him call my worst enemy or least favorite schoolteacher early in the morning to call them out for being fat, out of shape [insert city here] sweathogs! Actually, it might have been funny to just have Rude bellow “UPPER BODY BUSINESS!” into the phone repeatedly before hanging up!

Dynamite Kid

Dynamite Kid debuts on television taking on the veteran Alan Dennison for World of Sport in 1976! Nicknamed the Strongman, old school British wrestling fans seem to have fond memories of Dennison’s tag teams with Cyanide Sid Cooper and Ted “Hooker” Heath back in the 1960s and ‘70s. Dennison was once quoted as saying that the best way to keep young was to work with young people. This match certainly puts that theory to the test, as Dynamite Kid is only seventeen years old here! Dynamite keeps Dennison surprised by being able to maneuver out of holds and takedown attempts, flipping and landing on his feet to the delight of the crowd. Clearly impressed with the Kid’s superior athleticism, Dennison gets on the house mic after the match and puts him over big time. I wonder if anyone in the building that afternoon had any visions of the Dynamite Kid’s future as an innovator in Canada, Japan, and the United States.

Jerry "The King" Lawler

Jerry "The King" Lawler turns 71 today! How many of you knew that the King is also a talented artist? Here is the proof! I think Lawler could have easily made a living drawing comic books or working for MAD magazine had his wrestling career not been so successful!

Funny portrait of Freebird Michael Hayes! I love the expressions of his fellow Freebirds and Gorgeous Jimmy Garvin in the background, laughing at Michael's free-spirited silliness.

Gotta love this self-portrait of Jerry Lawler as the Eighth Wonder of the World; it's even referencing the 1977 King Kong remake instead of the original.

Jerry's artistic talents are what first got him in to the world of wrestling; he would send in drawings of Memphis wrestlers like Jackie Fargo to Aubrey Griffith, the local promoter. He eventually worked out a deal with Griffith—free publicity on Lawler's radio show (he was a disc jockey at the time) in exchange for wrestling lessons. Not a bad deal if you ask me!

Playboy Buddy Rose

Playboy Buddy Rose loves to eat at Burgerville and I probably would too if I lived in the Pacific Northwest! I would eat at Burgerville just on sheer principle because that is undoubtedly the best name for a burger place I have ever heard! If it was good enough for the Playboy, it’s gotta be good enough for me…right?

Ric Flair

Ric Flair addresses the crowd at the Greensboro Coliseum after winning the NWA world heavyweight championship from Harley Race at the inaugural Starrcade in 1983! This was, of course, the beginning of the run that firmly established the Nature Boy as one of wrestling’s all-time greats!

20 Years Ago Today at 924 Gilman Street

Someone else on the Gilman booking staff was doing a bad job putting this show together, so I stepped in about 2-3 weeks before it was to take place.  He was unhappy about me taking over, but it only took me five minutes of brainstorming to finish a show that he had done nothing with for the past two months. Unfortunately, this was probably the most violent show I did that entire year. Multiple fights happened outside the club. Several kids jumped future investigative reporter Shane Bauer in the bathroom for no reason. Some Nazi skinhead kid even tried to steal the keys to TOXIC NARCOTIC’s van during their set! However, the combined effort of myself and the local bands got approximately 250 people to come to a show that only had a few weeks of promotion, so that was cool. How does one have a difficult time setting up a TOXIC NARCOTIC show anyway?

Movie Review: Cape Fear (1991)

DIRECTOR: Martin Scorsese. CAST: Robert De Niro, Nick Nolte, Jessica Lange, Juliette Lewis, Joe Don Baker, Robert Mitchum, Gregory Peck, Martin Balsam, Illeana Douglas, Fred Dalton Thompson.
Martin Scorsese’s remake isn’t into implying anything at all; it goes for the throat. Some of the story elements have changed—Sam Bowden is the public defender who suppressed evidence that could have gotten his client a lesser sentence or acquittal from rape charges. Max Cady was guilty as hell, but a report about his victim’s “questionable” sexual history could have set him free and Sam was not about to have that on his conscience. You might note that this is a direct violation of Cady’s constitutional right to a proper legal defense in court. Cady discovers the report while appealing his case as a jailhouse lawyer. Now he wants vengeance. Cady gets out during a time when the Bowden family is dealing with trust issues between Sam and his wife, as well as his daughter slipping between rebellious, awkward, and sexually curious. No one is perfect in Scorsese’s Cape Fear. Max’s behavior is bolder this time around too, particularly when he corners young Danny Bowden at school. Robert De Niro is very good as Max Cady, but eventually degenerates into a parody of the irrational and becomes just another horror movie killer. Strange to see Martin Scorsese resorting to stylized techniques and unnecessary slasher film ploys. Someone else could have hung their hat on Cape Fear using the same approach, but this is Martin Scorsese and it is funny how standards work. This is not one of his better movies compared to the obvious classics on his resume, but maybe that is the point: that even the great Martin Scorsese has flaws.

Jushin Liger

Happy 56th birthday to Jushin Liger! I was thinking about how Japanese wrestling filtered its way into my fandom—first via photos of Antonio Inoki and Jumbo Tsuruta, then by seeing Jushin Liger and the Great Muta tear up the ring in WCW. They helped me form an impression of how New Japan and All Japan Pro Wrestling represented the True Sport of Kings long before I was able to see it for myself. Liger also changed the business for good in 1994 when he set up New Japan's Super J Cup tournament featuring many of the world's best junior heavyweight wrestlers at the time. Eddy Guerrero (as Black Tiger), Dean Malenko, Chris Benoit (as Wild Pegasus), Hayabusa, the Great Sasuke, and Taka Michinoku were just some of the talents introduced to the greater wrestling world on the Super J Cup's grand stage. Jushin Liger deserves a Hall of Fame induction for that alone.

Chris Jericho

Happy 50th birthday to Chris Jericho! Here he is during his WCW Monday Jericho run that culminated in a brief confrontation (but not a match) with Bill Goldberg. There used to be a fantastic playlist on YouTube that chronicled Jericho’s weekly antics during this time in his career and I loved watching it before it was lost to the digital sands of time. I had almost forgotten how entertaining those segments were. Chris Jericho was one of WCW’s bright spots during this time, in which Nitro and Thunder were all but taken over by the increasingly convoluted nWo Hollywood/nWo Wolfpac saga. Jericho had nothing to do with either group, opting to terrorize the cruiserweight division and taunting the likes of Dean Malenko and Goldberg. When he jumped ship to the WWF, it is safe to say that WCW would never…eeevvveeerrr…be the same…AGAIN!

Notes from the Nest

Dirty Rotten Publishing, 1988

DIRTY ROTTEN IMBECILES (D.R.I.) was one of the biggest and best hardcore thrash bands during the 1980s. They first became known for playing songs of a faster and shorter nature than most punk bands; their debut record managed to fit 22 songs onto a 33-RPM 7-inch! D.R.I. would then become one of the first hardcore bands to merge their sound with that of heavy metal with the release of their 1987 album Crossover. Bands such as METALLICA and SLAYER had been emulating hardcore’s fast pace throughout the decade to create thrash, speed, and death metal; D.R.I. had simply returned the favor and hit the big time themselves.

D.R.I. in the Crossover era: Kurt Brecht (vocals), Spike Cassidy (guitar),
Felix Griffin (drums), Josh Pappe (bass).

D.R.I.’s members weren’t exactly living the rock star life while much of this was taking place. They had moved to the Bay Area from Texas in 1984, living in their tour van for the time being. This book gathers journal entries written by vocalist Kurt Brecht during his final months as an outdoor resident of San Francisco’s Haight District. I actually received a copy of Notes from the Nest while living on the streets of Berkeley and Oakland in my early twenties, so these stories were (and still are) a lot of fun for me to read.

Golden Gate Park is bigger than New York’s Central Park, taking up 1.583 miles
and over a thousand acres. There are plenty of places for a resourceful homeless person to hide.

Kurt briefly explains his current situation—he sings and writes lyrics for D.R.I., sleeps in a tree in Golden Gate Park, and eats at a nearby soup kitchen. He doesn’t have anywhere else to go for now and crashing out on the grass isn’t a good idea, as he is aware of stories about local homeless people being assaulted and killed in their sleep. Kurt manages to find the perfect configuration of branches to form a “nest” where he can sleep in relative comfort well above ground. Cops, murderous thugs, and passers-by in general are unaware of his presence. He works part-time for a flaky jeweler and might move into a place with his new girlfriend if a potential new job works out. Kurt even has a cat that lives in the tree with him.

Raging madness and gang warfare
at the Olympic Auditorium.

D.R.I. also plays a show with SLAYER at the Olympic Auditorium in Los Angeles, in which one of the four simultaneous circle pits erupts into gang warfare between skinheads, metalheads, and Suicidal members. Kurt returns home to find that life is changing fast. He and his girlfriend will be moving into a room in Oakland after all. One more night in the nest to end this chapter of Kurt Brecht’s life as another one begins.

Notes from the Nest is not easy to come by; I saw a single copy listed on Amazon for $150. I was lucky to have acquired my copy when I did; it often lifted my spirits when homeless punk life had me down. You probably should have been a down-and-out D.R.I. fan to appreciate these tales, but Notes from the Nest is a fun and fast read if you ever find a copy for yourself.

Abdullah the Butcher

Happy 79th birthday to Abdullah the Butcher! Here is the Madman from the Sudan defending the WWC North American heavyweight championship against Carlos Colon in Trinidad and Tobago in 1981! This match is a perfect example of a wrestling crowd being 100% invested in the action! Colon attacks Abdullah at the start, not giving him a chance to breathe! He repeatedly sinks his teeth into the Butcher’s head, attempting to draw blood! The crowd is on their feet when the battle spills outside of the ring! They begin to surge closer to the action when Abdullah retaliates and bashes Colon’s head into the ringpost! Things go from bad to worse when the referee stops the match, but is unable to stop Abdullah’s attack! The fans nearly riot in the aftermath! Wrestling in Trinidad is serious business!

British Bulldogs

Pro Wrestling Illustrated’s November 1985 cover story concerned a match that the British Bulldogs wrestled against each other! I was unable to get this issue years ago, but the cover story always intrigued me. I wanted to know more about my favorite tag team wrestling in opposition to one another! Considering that Stampede Wrestling never got much coverage in the magazines, I doubt that PWI was referring to any of those matches. My guess is that the article concerned Dynamite and Davey Boy’s bout in the WWF junior heavyweight title tournament for New Japan three months prior to this issue. Does anyone out there want to fill in the blanks for me?

Movie Review: Godzilla (1954)

DIRECTOR: Ishiro Honda. CAST: Akira Takarada, Momoko Kochi, Akihiko Hirata, Takashi Shimura, Fuyuki Murakami, Sachio Sakai, Toranosuke Ogawa, Ren Yamamoto, Hiroshi Hayashi, Seijiro Onda.
Forget about Godzilla: Hokey Kid’s Matinee Hero; that nonsense does not apply here. Godzilla was originally a post-World War II nuclear nightmare, a prehistoric fusion of land and sea reptiles awakened by American weapons testing in the Pacific Ocean. Japan’s citizens relive the horror of August 1945 when the monster attacks the city of Tokyo, setting things aflame with his atomic breath and laying waste to everything else in his path. Although Godzilla is not without its share of melodrama, it is so much more than a cheesy monster movie—the atomic bomb metaphors are abundantly clear, as are the questions raised about Japan’s psychological state in the early 1950s. Godzilla’s fantastic black and white photography gives the film a documentary-like quality that enhances its somber tone. Excellent and completely deserves to be remembered as the king of kaiju movies.
AKA Gojira.

Movie Review: First Blood (1982)

DIRECTOR: Ted Kotcheff. CAST: Sylvester Stallone, Brian Dennehy, Richard Crenna, Bill McKinney, Jack Starrett, Michael Talbott, Chris Mulkey, John McLiam, Alf Humphreys, David Caruso.
First Blood deserves better than residing in the shadows of its more bombastic sequels. John Rambo is a former Green Beret with PTSD issues that prevent him from fitting in with society after returning from combat. He drifts from town to town looking for his fellow soldiers, only to find that they are all dead. Rambo finally snaps after enduring harassment and abuse from a small-town sheriff and his underlings, escaping to the woods where he brings the Vietnam War home to the redneck cops who have no idea of the things he went through in battle. Loosely based on the book by David Morell, First Blood is a darkly nihilistic story where good guys and bad guys do not exist and the hunters unwittingly become the hunted. All of the following sequels take place in a different context, making First Blood more a part of the series in name only. Director Ted Kotcheff went on to join the staff on Law & Order: SVU where he is a director and executive producer.

Asunder vs. Like Flies on Flesh

Great split LP that deserves its place in any self-respecting crusty punk record collection! ASUNDER drops two heavy slabs of death/doom on your cranium and believe me, it hurts! Reminiscent of the greats like MY DYING BRIDE or PARADISE LOST and they are not afraid to take their time. “Tides of Ruin” crosses the ten-minute mark, but never feels overlong or boring. Nice mix of blackened crusty sludge from Texas metalpunks LIKE FLIES ON FLESH, who would have been right at home here in the Bay Area. I wish we could have heard more from them in the future, but this was their only recorded output. Whatever limitations you hear are excused by the recording methods—both ASUNDER and LIKE FLIES ON FLESH originally released these songs as demo tapes before mixing and mastering them for split LP preservation. ASUNDER forged on until 2009 with three more great releases—the monstrous A Clarion Call, a great split LP with GRAVES AT SEA, and ending with Works Will Come Undone. LIKE FLIES ON FLESH vocalist Jamie Myers has kept busy in the years since. She joined HAMMERS OF MISFORTUNE circa 2003, releasing The August Engine and The Locust Years before guesting on WOLVES IN THE THRONE ROOM’s Diadem of 12 Stars album and their Malevolent Grain 12-inch. She now sings for occult rockers SABBATH ASSEMBLY.

Big Van Vader is Coming to WCW

I’m pretty sure I saw this on TV back in 1990 when it was first broadcast. This clip was just a teaser of the Mastodon’s entrance in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Not exactly being up to date on New Japan, I had no idea what to expect from Big Van Vader, but I knew his crazy-looking helmet was pretty awesome! As the weeks progressed and the promotional videos revealed more of what this guy was about, it became more apparent that an unstoppable monster was on his way! I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t wait to see Vader in action!

This is Real

This guy got off lucky! Questioning the integrity of professional wrestling to one of its participants used to be a sure-fire way to get your ass handed to you big time! I have read plenty of stories over the years about various incidents taking place in bars and nightclubs—one of the more drastic measures taken to prove wrestling’s legitimacy consisted of actually tearing an eye from its socket! Some of the more ruthless practitioners would grind the eye into a pulp under their heels! I think I read a story about a wrestler actually EATING an eye during a bar fight once!

Movie Review: Marathon Man (1976)

DIRECTOR: John Schlesinger. CAST: Dustin Hoffman, Laurence Olivier, Roy Scheider, William Devane, Marthe Keller, Richard Bright, Marc Lawrence, Tito Goya, Fritz Weaver, Jacques Marin.
One of the decade’s best suspense thrillers! Marathon Man concerns three people who are all in a figurative race to stay one step ahead of each other. First is Dr. Christian Szell, a Nazi war criminal hiding out in South America and living off stolen diamonds from his Auschwitz murder victims. He will stop at nothing to retrieve the remaining gems from his recently deceased brother’s safety deposit box in New York, despite the great risk of having his identity exposed. Second is Henry “Doc” Levy, who fronts as an oil industry executive while working as a secret government agent and one of Szell’s couriers. Szell trusts no one after his brother’s death and tries to have Doc killed several times to no avail. Doc follows Szell to New York to confront him. Third is Doc’s brother Thomas “Babe” Levy, a Ph.D. candidate and would-be marathon runner suspected of having knowledge of Szell’s identity and motives. Unfortunately, he has no idea that he is about to be mixed up with Nazis and secret government agencies. Laurence Olivier, Roy Scheider, and Dustin Hoffman are all excellent as always in their respective roles. Marathon Man is one of those films that get better with each viewing that reveals more of the hidden gems in performance, direction, and photography. Based on the novel and adapted for the screen by William Goldman.

20 Years Ago Today at 924 Gilman Street

I only remember the Gilman Street staff being judgmental and irritated that "heavy metal" bands were playing at their precious "punk rock club," only to be completely won over and wanting more by the time HAMMERS OF MISFORTUNE finished their set. 

Movie Review: The Story of Ricky (1991)

DIRECTOR: Nai-Choi Lam. CAST: Siu-Wong Fan, Mei-Sheng Fan, Ka-Kui Ho, Yukari Oshima, Tetsuro Tanba, Gloria Yip, Philip Kwok, Frankie Chin, Koichi Sugisaki, Kwai-Hung Wong, Gan-Wing Chang, Kai-Wing Lam, Ging Chan, Kwok-Leung Wong.
The Story of Ricky does not just blur genre lines; it tramples the very notion of these distinctions. Ricky’s hyper-violent story takes place in a future (2001, to be exact) where housing criminals is simply a government job run by the private business sector. He is serving a sentence in a maximum-security prison after running wild on a gang of drug dealers who caused his girlfriend’s death. Ricky soon runs into trouble with the thugs who control the prison population at the corrupt warden’s behest, resulting in scenes of bloodshed and disembowelment that would make Herschell Gordon Lewis smile. Eyes pop out of skulls like ping-pong balls, fists punch through stomachs, and intestines used for strangulation. Ricky even ties his own severed tendons back together to continue fighting! The Story of Ricky is an unforgettable spectacle of carnage; it is epic in its own way and readers must see it at least once. Based on the Japanese manga Riki-Oh.

Movie Review: Commando (1985)

DIRECTOR: Mark L. Lester. CAST: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rae Dawn Chong, Alyssa Milano, Vernon Wells, Dan Hedaya, David Patrick Kelly, Bill Duke, James Olson, Drew Snyder, Michael Delano, Charles Meshack, Carlos Cervantes.
Commando has a place in every Arnold fan’s heart, as it was the first vehicle specifically tailored to highlight Schwarzenegger’s physical presence and his natural charisma. Rest assured that Commando was as cheesy and silly in 1985 as you would likely find it to be now. Arnold is John Matrix, a former Special Forces colonel forced out of retirement when mercenaries kidnap his young daughter Jenny from their secluded mountain home. Poor Jenny’s life is on the line as they demand that Matrix perform a political assassination in South America to get her back. However, Matrix has a better plan: become a one-man army and kill everyone standing between him and his daughter. No one upstages the Governator here, not even Vernon Wells (aka Wez from The Road Warrior) as the homoerotic main villain or Bill Duke himself. Alpha male Arnold repeatedly proves who is more macho, dispatching many of his foes with a nicely timed one-liner. Commando is where you will find the roots of Schwarzenegger’s film persona; this is where it really all began.

Superstar Billy Graham

Looks like a rough day at the office for Superstar Billy Graham! He can't be feeling sweeter than German chocolate cake at the moment! Gordon Solie would have been proud to refer to Billy’s face as the crimson mask! I’m sure John was pleased as punch to have his autograph though.

Mr. Wrestling II Meets Jimmy Carter

Jimmy Carter puts a side headlock on Mr. Wrestling II in a famous photo that I believe was taken during Carter’s time as governor of Georgia! Both Jimmy and his mother Lillian were avid fans of both Mr. Wrestling II and Georgia Championship Wrestling! Carter even invited him to his presidential inauguration, but the Secret Service insisted that Mr. Wrestling II appear unmasked for security reasons! Nobody tells Mr. Wrestling II to unmask, so he had to decline the invitation! Fortunately, Jimmy and Miss Lillian understood completely and their friendship continued. I hope the Secret Service agent who made the demand to unmask was fired! What kind of anti-American commie fascist pig tells Mr. Wrestling II to take off his mask anyway?

Have You Ever Seen a Dead Cop?: Remembering Area 51

"Have you ever seen a dead cop?"

You are likely more familiar with the other bands that emanated out of AREA 51—MODEST MOUSE, MURDER CITY DEVILS, and PRETTY GIRLS MAKE GRAVES, to name a few. However, AREA 51 deserves mention as well, for they made some of the best punk rock noise around for a brief spell in the mid ‘90s! Their self-titled 7-inch released in 1995 is a forgotten gem, a fantastic piece of grungy punked-out chaos. Screaming male and female vocals emanate from everywhere at once as samples galore from Over the Edge separate one song from another. AREA 51 reminds me of BLATZ in a way, but they are much faster and verging more out of control. This is also one of NATION OF ULYSSES guitarist Tim Green’s earliest studio recordings. AREA 51 morphed into the DEATH WISH KIDS later that year after Spencer Moody left the band. Not much else had changed; they perhaps attacked their songs with more of a focus and less all-out drunken chaos. DEATH WISH KIDS quickly released the There’s Nothing in School They Can’t Teach You on the Streets 7-inch on Hopscotch Records, but disbanded within a year to form the MURDER CITY DEVILS with Spencer. Hopscotch would also release an AREA 51 discography—the 7-inch and an unreleased recording—on 10-inch vinyl in 1998, as well as a four-song DEATH WISH KIDS demo as a one-sided 7-inch in 2000. Vocalist Andrea Zollo returned with PRETTY GIRLS MAKE GRAVES’ first release a year later.

Valet for a Day

Happy 68th birthday to Jimmy Garvin! We're going to remember one of the funnier moments in Garvin's career—the Valet for a Day segment for World Class television! Gorgeous Jimmy and valet Sunshine are expected to put in a hard day’s work on David Von Erich’s ranch per the stipulation in their most recent match! This segment is hilarious! Garvin & Sunshine dig post holes while David practices skeet shooting, as well as washing the dog and hauling bales of hay across a field on foot. Jimmy finally draws the line at cleaning out the horse stall, but it’s definitely a great day for Dave up to that point!

Movie Review: King of New York (1990)

DIRECTOR: Abel Ferrara. CAST: Christopher Walken, Laurence Fishburne, David Caruso, Victor Argo, Janet Julian, Wesley Snipes, Steve Buscemi, John Turturro, Paul Calderon, Giancarlo Esposito, Theresa Randle, Frank Adonis, Harold Perrineau.
King of New York is certainly one of the most stylish gangster films out there; it is one of the few capturing the film noir look in the modern era. Christopher Walken stars as the recently paroled gangster looking to reclaim his throne as New York’s drug kingpin. Although he is able to cut through his enemies, his further success is marred by a group of rogue cops willing to go outside the law to take him down. Traditional “good guys” and “bad guys” do not exist in this New York. Walken is his usual fantastic self, but Laurence Fishburne deserves special mention for his pre-stardom role as the volatile mob henchman who cackles maniacally after seeing a cop die in grisly fashion. Victor Argo, David Caruso, and Wesley Snipes are also very good as the police officers who take their war against the drug gang personally. Their performances and Abel Ferrara’s direction elevate what is often an incoherent story. I feel that there has to be an eventual director’s cut edition that replaces aspects of the plot left on the cutting room floor.

Arn Anderson

Happy birthday to Arn Anderson, who turns 62 today! Double A was my favorite of the Four Horsemen until I finally learned to appreciate Ric Flair's talents. However, nobody in the Four Horsemen was so matter-of-fact about telling you that you were going to catch a serious ass-kicking! How many wrestlers are remembered for being as consistent as the Enforcer was in the ring and on the microphone?

924 Gilman: The Story So Far

Maximum Rocknroll, 2004

You practically can’t read a single article about GREEN DAY or RANCID without at least one mention of 924 Gilman Street, still located in Berkeley, California. They cut their teeth on the Gilman stage as part of the East Bay punk underground before ascending to mainstream success and blah, blah, blah. You’ve heard all of this before, haven’t you? There is a lot more to Gilman Street than those bands; this exhaustive 416-page book about the volunteer-run club’s first 18 years proves that point. You will have to figure out a way to prevent the book from falling apart due to its binding, but it is worth the effort.

924 Gilman’s story comes from the volunteer staff perspective rather than that of well-known musicians and tastemakers. Matt Freeman is the only member of the aforementioned huge bands on hand here, but barely says anything about OPERATION IVY or RANCID at all. He opts for a funny story about his early days performing post-show Gilman cleanup

924 Gilman Street as it has existed in Berkeley, CA since 1986.

duties instead. Expect anecdotes of that nature over tales of bands and records. Chapters are broken up according to whoever ran the club at the time, with each participant getting a few pages to say their piece. One or two ex-staffers try to dish some political dirt, but Brian Edge changes their names in the interest of fairness. 924 Gilman is not a book for settling old scores, something that I think got in the way of some volunteers speaking in detail about negative experiences at the club. I know from my own participation as a Gilman volunteer that it is not always fun and that punks’ dysfunctional personalities often clash.

What should make this book valuable to its readers is that this is how you do it—discovering a space with potential in no-man’s land and making it happen above board. How much effort goes into its creation and maintenance, dealing with licensing and zoning boards, and how the very community the space intends to serve often undermines its goals much more than “the Man” does. Although the stories become repetitive and less interesting after a while, 924 Gilman is often a fun read coupled with awesome visual representation. There are few pages without some kind of photo, flyer, newspaper clipping, or even staff meeting notes accompanying the text. All books about punk rock should be this visually stimulating, yet so few of them are lately. Could we get a second edition that corrects the bookbinding issue sometime?

Movie Review: The Principal (1987)

DIRECTOR: Christopher Cain. CAST: James Belushi, Louis Gossett Jr., Rae Dawn Chong, Michael Wright, J.J. Cohen, Esai Morales, Troy Winbush, Jacob Vargas, Reggie Johnson.

Funny teen gang exploitation fare filmed right here in Oakland! James Belushi starts as a fuckup teacher reassigned to run the worst school in the district. Neighborhood gangbangers object to his efforts to turn things around and violent hijinks ensue. Although the white-savior aspect of the story is in bad taste by today’s standards, The Principal is enjoyable on a silly B-movie level. Don’t watch this movie in any other context. Belushi carries the load much of the time with his natural wit, elevating the movie to something more watchable. I particularly enjoyed seeing and remembering the familiar Oakland locations used; it is probably the main reason why I occasionally like watching this piece of cinematic cheese.

Never Forget