DIRECTOR: Leslie H. Martinson. CAST: Adam West, Burt Ward, Lee Meriwether, Cesar Romero, Burgess Meredith, Frank Gorshin, Alan Napier, Neil Hamilton, Stafford Repp, Madge Blake, Reginald Denny, Milton Frome, Gil Perkins, Dick Crockett, George Sawaya.
Quite interesting to revisit the 1966-71 era Batman in all of its campy glory after both of the modern franchises reinvented the Caped Crusader, rendering the beloved TV show outdated and obscure. Batman (the movie) was originally to launch the series, but 20th Century Fox turned down the idea until opting to cash in on the first season’s incredible success. There is no dark story of personal demons and retribution; expect lighthearted ‘60s hipster humor with some swipes at international politics instead. Batman & Robin take on the filthy & diabolical United Underworld—the Joker, the Penguin, the Riddler & Catwoman—who have gained possession of a dehydrator that can reduce human beings into mere dust particles! World domination is on the agenda as these criminal masterminds use the dehydrator to kidnap the entire United Nations Security Council! Only the Dynamic Duo can save the day, delivering a little “POW! THWACK! BIFF!” to the bad guys. Good kitschy fun for the whole family, especially if Mom & Dad have smoked a joint or two beforehand. Batman is the MAD magazine to Tim Burton & Christopher Nolan’s graphic novels.
N.R.B.Q. have enjoyed a long career and have been featured in The Simpsons, Space Ghost Coast to Coast, and movies like Day of the Dead and Shakes the Clown. However, the greatest moment in the NATIONAL RHYTHM & BLUES QUARTET's history as a band took place when they hired Captain Lou Albano to manage their career, which produced this fun novelty song! Let this song and the Captain be your guiding light to greatness!
DIRECTOR: Victor Halperin. CAST: Bela Lugosi, Madge Bellamy, Joseph Cawthorn, Robert W. Frazer, John Harron, Brandon Hurst, George Burr Macannan, Clarence Muse, Frederick Peters, Annette Stone, John Printz, Dan Crimmins, Claude Morgan, John Fergusson, Velma Gresham. Although it obviously does not live up to modern horror standards, this is possibly the first zombie movie ever made and that alone makes it worth seeing. Supposedly based on a “nonfiction” account of Haitian voodoo published in 1929, we begin our tale with a young couple planning to get married on the island. However, the lonely rich guy they are staying with wants the bride himself and works out quite the underhanded scheme with a nearby plantation owner to kidnap her from her fiancé. Bela Lugosi is fresh off the Dracula set to play the devious plantation owner who uses black magic to resurrect dead natives for slave labor. Oh, the racial implications! Oh, the awful attempts at blackface! Viewers might be disappointed that the zombies are not exactly of the flesh-eating variety, although it is probably unrealistic to expect that from an old movie like this. White Zombie does not retain whatever impact it might have once had, but Bela Lugosi’s piercing eyes and sinister facial expressions are enough to carry the load. Shot in eleven days for fifty grand with sets left over from both Dracula and Frankenstein.
Bruiser Brody wraps a chain around the One Man Gang’s eyes in what had to be a brutal bout! I actually read about this match in Wrestling Superstars back in the summer of 1986! Brody came out on top, setting an example for a young jobber who was attempting to make his mark in the True Sport of Kings! This photo was part of the article! Nice to see it again after all these years!
DIRECTOR: Paul Verhoeven. CAST: Peter Weller, Nancy Allen, Ronny Cox, Kurtwood Smith, Miguel Ferrer, Dan O'Herlihy, Paul McCrane, Ray Wise, Jesse D. Goins, Calvin Jung, Michael Gregory, Robert DoQui, Felton Perry, Lee de Broux, S.D. Nemeth. Robocop remains a great action movie and a brilliant satirizing of Reagan-era corporate greed and excess. We see Detroit falling apart in a dystopian future in which the mayor has turned over control of its underfunded police department to the megacorporation Omni Consumer Products. OCP plans to privatize all of the city’s services, including replacing its cops with androids programmed for perfectly efficient law enforcement. They construct RoboCop from the remains of an officer killed in the line of duty by Detroit’s criminal mastermind. RoboCop successfully takes down a number of bad guys, but things go awry when he begins to experience shadowy memories of his previous life. He focuses on bringing his murderer to justice, which also leads him back to the very corporation that made him. Robocop’s greatness lies in the details that separate it from the typical ‘80s shoot-‘em-up action movie. Who could forget “I’d buy that for a dollar!” from everyone’s favorite TV slapstick sex comedy It's Not My Problem? Kurtwood Smith and Ronny Cox steal the show in their inspired character performances. Make sure you also watch the director’s cut that originally garnered an X rating due to the gratuitous violence!
Jesse "The Body" Ventura turns 69 today and I feel like celebrating with the music video promoting his 1984 12-inch picture disc single "The Body Rules" b/w "Showdown with Mr. V"! Rhino Records released the 12-inch early in Jesse's run with the World Wrestling Federation; the video features footage from both the WWF and the Body's previous stint in the AWA. "The Body Rules" is a decent Rock 'n' Wrestling jam that would not have been out of place on The Wrestling Album had it come out a year later. I actually own a copy of the picture disc single and you can too, as it is neither expensive nor difficult to find. Add it to your collection! Wrestling is rock 'n' roll! Rock 'n' roll is wrestling!
I
have always found it interesting that stories regarding the early ‘80s Los
Angeles punk rock scene usually end with the rise of gang violence at shows. Some
of the gangs evolved out of band followers, with SUICIDAL TENDENCIES being the
best-known example. Vocalist Mike Muir cultivated a massive crew—the
Suicidals—that eventually outgrew the band’s influence. Apparently, the gang
turned on Mike when he began decrying their violent dance floor behavior,
resulting in a brutal group beatdown. CIRCLE ONE and FIGHT FOR FREEDOM (F.F.F.)
were two other bands/gangs on the scene that are frequently mentioned in the
historical retrospectives. Even BAD RELIGION had affiliations with a Hollywood
punk gang called the LADS, or Los Angeles Death Squad. However, the narrative
generally downplays the gangs’ presence and thus ends the story of ‘80s
hardcore punk in Los Angeles and Orange County.
Disco’s Out…Murder’s
In attempts
to fill in the blanks, chronicling the formation of a punk gang and its role in
turning the LA punk scene into a war zone. Some find it hard to believe, but
punk rockers took a potentially serious risk simply walking down the street in
those days. They could expect frequent attacks by, well, anybody for simply
looking different from the established norm. Hell, even stoned-out peacenik
hippies would try to pick fights with punks! One could say that punk rock was
slowly beat into becoming hardcore. Gangs formed to fight back and let society
know that punk rockers were no longer their punching bags.
LADS (Los Angeles Death Squad) gang photo, 1984.
L.M.P. (La Mirada Punks) was one such gang with a Clockwork Orange-style saga relived
through the eyes of one Frank the Shank. Frank befriends L.M.P. members as a
13-year-old upstart and quickly immerses himself in their life of chaos,
violence, and murder. Memorable shows become backdrops for mayhem as the gangs
lose focus on fighting society and begin battling each other for scene
supremacy. Attending a MISFITS gig is less about seeing the band and more about
an ex-con L.M.P. member’s newfound talent for relieving kids of their leather
jackets. L.M.P. seems to find new victims to stab with each turn of the page and
it blows my mind when I remember that
teenage kids are committing these
ultraviolent acts! Frank is barely eighteen years old when a brutal encounter
with followers of the band PIG CHILDREN leads to his arrest and subsequent
“come to Jesus” moment. He is able to make his departure from punk rock gang
life and tell the tale. Most of his crazy cohorts were not so lucky.
I
cannot say for sure how much of Frank’s voice actually resides in Disco’s Out…Murder’s In, but his tale helps
put things into perspective. Sometimes we need an ugly reminder of where this
punk rock stuff comes from, which does include its darker elements whether we
like it or not. Disco’s Out…Murder’s In
serves that purpose nicely.
DIRECTOR: Richard Fleischer. CAST: Charles Bronson, Al Lettieri, Linda Cristal, Lee Purcell, Paul Koslo, Taylor Lacher, Frank Maxwell, Alejandro Rey, Jordan Rhodes, Bert Santos. Although Mr. Majestyk defies logic at times, it is a far sight better than the average Death Wish sequel. Nothing comes between ex-army ranger Vincent Majestyk and his watermelon crop—he’ll lose a lot of money if he doesn’t get all 160 acres done this week. His refusal to hire a local thug’s work crew gets him in hot water; the heat only increases when Majestyk manages to get a mob boss involved in his mess. All Majestyk wants to do is farm his crops and live a tranquil life (and pay his migrant workers $1.40 an hour…in 1974 dollars), but is given no other choice but to solve things the Charles Bronson Way. Elmore Leonard’s script and interesting characters elevate Mr. Majestyk to a level less ridiculous with a fun conclusion taking place in beautiful Colorado scenery. Al Lettieri deserves special mention as the gangster determined to see Majestyk the melon picker sleep with the fishes before migrating to majestic Mazatlán. Thoroughly enjoyable!
Hulk Hogan is coming back to the Oakland Coliseum! He will defend his WWF championship against “Macho Man” Randy Savage, who is still smarting from losing the Intercontinental title to Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat at WrestleMania III! This is about destiny! Savage’s destiny is to feel the wrath of Hulkamania! He’s going to ride the Macho Man like he does his Harley! He’s taken the back seat off of the bike and will not invite Miss Elizabeth to take a ride because he doesn’t like used parts on his bike! OUCH! Now that’s cold… Although the Macho Man is the number one contender, he is simply going to become the next number one contender to be lain at the Hulkster’s feet! Don’t you dare miss it!
Two of
my favorite things as a kid come together as one - professional wrestling and MADmagazine!
Great cover by Mort Drucker! MAD did a
funny parody of the yearly
“Pro Wrestling Predictions” article that many of the
magazines used to do. I REALLY laughed at the one about Dr. Ruth Westheimer
analyzing Roddy Piper. People used to wonder if Piper and Orton were “fags”
back in the day, especially after a Saturday Night’s Main Event video
package on the two seemed to capture their most…uh…‘bromantic’ moments.
'Bromance’ wasn’t a term used in the '80s, by the way—the other less-friendly
term was.
This
may have actually been my first issue of MAD. With my being a big wrestling fan, I could see my dad taking the perfect opportunity to
get me started as a reader by getting it for me. Thanks, dad!
Later on, I had a
multi-year subscription to both MAD AND WWF magazines! Kids today NEED things
like MAD and wrestling magazines; the fact that both
are dying out depresses me.
Happy 75th birthday to Debbie Harry! Here is a true Rock 'n' Wrestling moment captured on film forever when she met Andre the Giant backstage at Madison Square Garden! Did you know that Debbie was a big wrestling fan in her day? Wrestling is rock 'n’ roll! Rock 'n’ roll is wrestling!
