Movie Review: Commando (1985)

DIRECTOR: Mark L. Lester. CAST: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rae Dawn Chong, Alyssa Milano, Vernon Wells, Dan Hedaya, David Patrick Kelly, Bill Duke, James Olson, Drew Snyder, Michael Delano, Charles Meshack, Carlos Cervantes.
Commando has a place in every Arnold fan’s heart, as it was the first vehicle specifically tailored to highlight Schwarzenegger’s physical presence and his natural charisma. Rest assured that Commando was as cheesy and silly in 1985 as you would likely find it to be now. Arnold is John Matrix, a former Special Forces colonel forced out of retirement when mercenaries kidnap his young daughter Jenny from their secluded mountain home. Poor Jenny’s life is on the line as they demand that Matrix perform a political assassination in South America to get her back. However, Matrix has a better plan: become a one-man army and kill everyone standing between him and his daughter. No one upstages the Governator here, not even Vernon Wells (aka Wez from The Road Warrior) as the homoerotic main villain or Bill Duke himself. Alpha male Arnold repeatedly proves who is more macho, dispatching many of his foes with a nicely timed one-liner. Commando is where you will find the roots of Schwarzenegger’s film persona; this is where it really all began.

Movie Review: The Expendables 3 (2014)

DIRECTOR: Patrick Hughes. CAST: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Antonio Banderas, Jet Li, Wesley Snipes, Dolph Lundgren, Kelsey Grammer, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kellan Lutz, Ronda Rousey, Glen Powell, Victor Ortiz, Robert Davi.

Stallone & company know that all we want with each Expendables movie is more—more of everything that happened in the previous installment and then some. The Expendables 3 certainly does that, although there are times when I wonder if perhaps it delivers too much. Our heroes are in a fight for their lives against the team’s co-founder who has since become one of the world’s most ruthless arms dealers. We see the Expendables become expandable as they recruit an entire new team to help wage their most personal war yet. UFC/WWE star Ronda Rousey has the most presence of the new blood; the rest are generally, well, expendable. Despite the excess, it is still entertaining as hell and would serve as a fitting end to the series had a fourth Expendables movie not been announced. Let’s hope that Carl Weathers shows up in that one.

Movie Review: The Expendables 2 (2012)

DIRECTOR: Simon West. CAST: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Chuck Norris, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Nan Yu, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Liam Hemsworth, Scott Adkins, Amanda Ooms, Charisma Carpenter.

The Expendables 2 is possibly the best of the series; it improves on the formula set by the original with more cameos, more violence, and more one-liners. Our boys vow revenge after a rival mercenary murders one of their own during an otherwise simple retrieval mission to Albania. Tons of fun ensues as the good guys fight, stab, shoot, and detonate their way through lots of bad guys to ensure that their fellow Expendable did not die in vain. There is more to the events than that, but it is probably best to keep it simple. Nan Yu does a nice job adding the necessary female role to the team while also temporarily replacing Jet Li as the resident martial arts expert. Anything that might have caused The Expendables to come up short successfully falls into place with this sequel.

Movie Review: Red Heat (1988)

DIRECTOR: Walter Hill. CAST: Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Belushi, Peter Boyle, Ed O’Ross, Larry Fishburne, Gina Gershon, Richard Bright, Michael Hagerty, Oleg Vidov, Savely Kramarov, Gabor Koncz, Sven-Ole Thorsen.

Underrated Arnold fare; I wish people gave Red Heat more props when remembering Schwarzenegger’s ‘80s action output. I suppose the mismatched cop story had become a cliché by 1988, but it still works in director Walter Hill’s hands. Arnie is the Russian cop sent to the US to extradite a drug dealer on the lam from killing his partner. James Belushi is the smartass Chicago cop assigned to drive him around, but gets involved when the drug dealer kills his partner too. They tear through the streets of Chicago, comparing proper policing methods and getting in trouble with their superiors before concluding by playing a game of “chicken” with two Greyhound buses. Schwarzenegger & Belushi end the Cold War when they develop a mutual respect and realize that they can work together despite their cultural differences. Although it is not as over the top action-packed as one might want it to be, Hill’s direction keeps Red Heat at a fast ‘n’ fun pace much like his earlier 48 HRS.